I'm really scared

I always cry now, I pussy out on this so much. I cry in the shower or when I have time by myself. Today, I just spent the whole day with luwina telling her how i'm feeling. I wonder why guys dont feel the same, why cant they be more sensitive too.. like us. I always constantly feel like my boyfriend dont love me anymore, I can feel he distance. I'm scared that he's getting bored of me and he's always going to these parties where he meets new girls and stuff & he gets close to them, I get so insecure about it i'm afraid he might find someone better. The last time it happened, he basically "cheated" because he was drunk. idk if he has intentions or whatever but doesnt drunk people sometimes have a sense of mind too. sometimes I wish you'd cared more, the littlest things you do back 2 months ago is so differ from now like handing me your jacket when I'm cold or the way to reply to me, the way how we used to always hold hands, the way how'd you always hit me up for some alone time. Now, it's all different, you no longer gave me efforts, now I always have to hit you up in order for us to hang. like in the middle of the day when we hang, you would eb like "can we hit them up?" ... you dont even care if I go places or do stuff anymore, back then you did. I feel liek you care less and less and idk what to do. I know you would always just hit me up when you're bored but you never hit me up and elgitly hang out with me the whole day. i feel like either I'm gettting boring or i'm less useful to you anymore. it makes you so long just to text me back with a "lol.... okay" ,... like i feel so clingy right now, idk if I should ever hit you up anymore. Liek you dont even wanna deal with me anymore.. like i'd always have to make the first move now. idk what to do, i can see all the signs..